Why is disappointment such a difficult emotion to deal with? And why when it strikes one of our children does the feeling seem to be magnified for us as parents?
During the past week my daughter suffered a considerable disappointment, and although this was not connected to anything life threatening or majorly life changing, nevertheless it was keenly felt. My heart really ached for her! Everytime I brought the circumstance to mind the pain felt physical, like a really ouchy sore. I guess Solomon really knew what he was talking about when he wrote : Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life (Proverbs 13:12). He was giving a voice to the ache of the soul.
What to do when disappointment strikes? I think it is important to acknowledge the emotion and “nurse” it for a time. It is ok to wallow in it for a little while, to really feel the emotion. But, we can’t stay here forever, or even for too long. “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning”. (Psalm 30:5) Even though we may not feel joyful, we choose joy, so as not to let our disappointment rule over us. When your dreams meet reality, choose hope.
I was really proud of my daughter. Yes, she was really upset and there were lots of tears, but she didn’t mope around for long. She dusted herself off and continued on with dedication and commitment, despite lacking fulfilment of her hopes and dreams. But do you know what? She still has hope for something bigger and better in the future. And the suffering and disappointment? I’m sure it has been really character building and I trust just what she needed in this moment for her growth and development of humility.
We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4